Simplex Open House

Monday, October 19, 2015

50 Things Easier and More Fun Than Obtaining a Construction Mortgage

October 15th saw even more changes effecting home buyers getting a mortgage. Gone are the good old days of obtaining a mortgage in 30 days. Heck, even getting a mortgage in 60 days is almost unheard of. Prepare for a 90 day wait and lots of new paperwork. It's almost like the Federal government is working against new home construction.

With that in mind, here are 50 things that might happen to you while waiting get your mortgage:

  1. Adopt an animal at the shelter
  2. Have a prostrate exam
  3. The 4-hour side effect of Viagra
  4. Learn how to play a kazoo
  5. Book a flight to Singapore
  6. learn to ride a unicycle
  7. Get a pony
  8. Get married
  9. Make new friends in Vegas
  10. Start a Facebook page
  11. Be first in line to renew your driver’s license at the DMV
  12. Help your child with ‘new’ math
  13. Experience a Ghost pepper
  14. Listen to a child ask “Why?” over and over
  15. Buy a boat and then sell it
  16. Chop a chord of firewood
  17. Make homemade spaghetti sauce
  18. Talk a cop out of giving you a ticket
  19. Get a date with Jennifer Lawrence
  20. Win the lottery
  21. Call a wrong number and a former classmate answers
  22. Make good time on I270 into DC
  23. Earn all the Boy Scout badges
  24. Get divorced
  25. Find a parking space near the door at Walmart
  26. Drink your first “Not Your Father’s Root Beer”
  27. Get Customer Service on the phone within 30 seconds
  28. That new car smell
  29. Lasagna made by the Italian Grandmother next door 
  30. Do 85 mph on the Interstate
  31. Carve a Halloween pumpkin to look like Freddie Kruger
  32. Have a good time at the in-laws
  33. Raise a child (though this is more expensive)
  34. Learn a rich uncle remembered you in his will
  35. Be carded when you reach 50 
  36. Catch a foul ball at the World Series
  37. Be mistaken for George Clooney 
  38. Be mistaken for John Goodman
  39. Be mistaken for Charlize Theron 
  40. Be mistaken for Rosie O’Donnell 
  41. Have fun at a church function
  42. Win a Mudder event
  43. Snowboarding
  44. Find your soulmate
  45. Finally understanding the lyrics to Lil Wayne song
  46. Open a bag of chips and find none broken
  47. Find a leftover jelly bean under the cushion
  48. Make it through a Yellow Light before it turns red
  49. Being bumped into First Class
  50. A perfect day



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Coach, you could ALL those things long before your mortgag is approved. That divorce thing may present a problem getting a loan.