Wednesday, August 10, 2011


I was raised during the Eisenhower presidency and learned my values from parents and teachers.  I try to be polite and thoughtful but today there are so many things pushing me to my limit that sometimes I just want to take some action. Here is my list of things I would like to do but I know it will never happen.

I will probably never:
  • Walk up to one of those boys with droopy pants and give them a pull.
  • Ask a girl why she would tattoo a boy’s name on the side of her face.
  • Tell the old people in the grocery store to talk somewhere else besides the middle of the aisle.
  • Yell at the lady to pick up after her dog.
  • Ask people why they have to swear so much.
  • Scream at the guy texting while driving and almost running you off the road.
  • Walk out of a restaurant where all the cooks have pierced tongues and eyebrows.
  • Tell my wife that I see her point but she’s still wrong.
  • Lose another 15 pounds.
  • Keep the extra $5 that the store clerk gave me.
  • Tell the guy to move his car to the parking lot after he fills his car with gas and then goes into the store for coffee.
  • Use a paper bag instead of plastic.
  • Eat a doughnut before I eat dinner.
  • Tell my paperboy that I don’t live in my tree.
  • Bump my car into the car in front of me when he is going 30 in a 50 MPH zone.
  • Take the time to listen to a rap song.
  • Try to watch at least one episode of the Bachelorette.  This will never happen!
  • Ride along with Lisa on Ice Road Truckers.
  • Ask my neighbor how he got a new Escalade when he and his wife are unemployed.
  • Finish the great American novel.
  • Watch an X-rated movie without laughing.
  • Get to personally ask President Obama why there are so many unemployed people in our country and why we are in so many wars.
  • Pull on Batman’s cape.
  • Win the Lottery. 
  • Tell the really big, muscular guy to “move it.”
  • Understand why modular home factories don’t have marketing departments.


Anonymous said...

Great list. Please don't ever bump the car in front of you. Slow down, use it as time to text.

Ask any factory and they will tell you, they dont have a marketing department because it's "too expensive". Or worse they make the sales manager do it in his spare time.

Anonymous said...

I just heard that Haven Homes is shutting down their Baltimore office. Any confirmation?

Coach said...

I haven't heard anything definite but it wouldn't surprise me. Their manufacturing is all in PA and it would make sense to have their corporate offices there instead of Baltimore.

If I hear anything, I'll let everyone know but it sounds like a good business move to me.

Anonymous said...

Haven definitely has plans to shut down the Baltimore office. They are abandoning their custom business and reverting to low end "Classic Homes", which look like they were designed in the 1970's. They are giving up the one advantage they had and selling on price. I think their days are numbered.

Anonymous said...

Coach you should let loose. If i have done most of those things does it mean something negative.

Harry said...

"Watch an X-rated movie without laughing".....sorry Coach but who has time to laugh when watching an X-rated movie? I have beeter things to do instead of laughing.

Butch said...

There are companies with Marketing Departments. Look at the differant companies pushing the converted trailer box, the road side rest stops & all the "green" homes. They are out there. You just have to look past the "junk" they are pushing to get to the real thing.....houses.

Anonymous said...

Haven did officially close Baltimore HQ.